It seems natural to start by telling you that I am a 25 year old mama of 1 (soon to be 2!). Happily married and living in Brisbane on half an acre of land surrounded by miniature horses, noisy roosters and a cow named Derek.
Since leaving school I have worked with children, and for the past 5 years I have had the privilege of nannying the children of women who I am now lucky enough to call friends- most notably Kel! In my spare time (haha) I am slowly working my way through my midwifery degree, with an ultimate goal of becoming a privately practicing midwife.
And yet none of this seems to capture the essence of why I am here. So here is my “why.”
The birth of my first child can only be described as “uneventful.” A “textbook” birth in the words of my midwife, and yet I walked away from this experience feeling in many ways disappointed.
For many months I tried to squash this feeling, reminding myself of the deep gratitude I felt that we had experienced such an uneventful pregnancy and birth, and knowing that many were not as lucky.
When I dared to explore these feelings, I realised they stemmed from the fact that I had not felt like an active participant in the process.
Like so many other women, throughout my pregnancy and birth I trusted medical equipment and care providers over my own instincts. I constantly sought advice and opinions when I already intuitively knew the answer. I became completely disconnected from my intuition, my body and ultimately myself. Afraid to be perceived as difficult or naïve, I hesitated to ask questions or seek support when I desperately needed it.
As a new mum, I couldn’t help but notice that these themes carried on into my parenting making for an incredibly difficult postpartum period that left me questioning if I would ever be ready to have more children.
As we entertained the idea of a second child I knew that I needed to re-write the narrative. I sought out and invested in a team of care providers, birth workers, friends and family members who I knew would support me and I began to arm myself with knowledge.
Throughout this process the way I viewed birth and parenthood began to shift. Now as I approach the birth of my second child I feel confident, informed, empowered and excited.
For me, The Matrescence Podcast grew out of the desire to share my growing knowledge and experiences with other women so that they too can heal from past experiences, make informed and empowered decisions, grow as individuals and mothers and find solidarity in the journey that is matrescence.
I very much look forward to sharing evidence-based information, heart warming stories, belly laughs and emotional cries with you all. Bree.
Update: Baby number 2 has arrived, and you can read about my home birth story here